To be honest I really liked the ‘idea’ of trying to conceive. I was certain that between my easy going husband and I, we would be lucky enough to really embrace and maintain our laid back approach to baby making, and it would be a really fun time in our lives. I was genuinely convinced that we would not be one of those couples that would become completely consumed by trying to fall pregnant. In fact I was determined that that we would not be one of those couples.

There was no way that I wanted to be one of those couples that started consuming copious amounts of caffeine before intercourse to assist the speed of my husband’s sperm. Convinced that we would not download ovulation apps on our phone, or start scheduling in our love making, inevitably making it a chore. I was convinced we would not incorporate a ‘baby dance’ in our love making session, where I would raise my legs in the air after intercourse like an upside down giraffe, nor ever sit and regret not continuing with my childhood gymnastics endeavors that would have enabled me to be able to stand on my head after sex. I was convinced we would make love irrespective of the moon being full nor would we ever endeavor to travel to the corner of the Earth just to rub a penis like statue and appeal to the fertility Gods.

But once we started trying to conceive, or as we liked to put it, were open to having a new addition join our family, you suddenly start seeing pregnant women on every street corner, every friend or friend of a friend is suddenly announcing on Facebook they are expecting, the television is full of advertisements regarding pregnancy vitamins and baby formula, and every time you are making love with you partner, you find yourself wondering whether this is going to be that magical moment, and wracking your brain as to what made that particular time in someway special, so you can plug it in the memory bank to one day reflect back on that beautiful day that your child was conceived.

But despite being convinced I was not going to be one of those people consumed with becoming pregnant, the truth that no one ever tells you, is that the decision to keep it from consuming you is in fact completely out of your hands. And despite not going as far as booking your ticket to rub that penis statue, the truth is that the minute you decide you want to be a mum, to become a family, to have a baby, becoming pregnant becomes the most important thing in the world to you. It’s a bit sad really, that it can’t be that fun filled, adventurous, loving and spontaneous time in our lives that the movies, or maybe just our own endeavors would have us believe. But the real reality is that despite it not being any or all of these things, trying to conceive is going to be something you look back on and cherish no matter how long it took or the way in which you got there, why, because it was all part of your unique journey.